The Glamper Returns Part 2 - To Be(lieve) or not to Be(lieve) in the Spirits
So what happened on the retreat? A lot happened in the space of two days. Two precious days away from social media and trying to not read my emails. I didn't miss it all that much. We installed ourselves at the Sustainability Centre near Petersfield, a wonderful world of woodland, a natural graveyard, and even a few yurts. Petersfield is not too far from my hometown of Portsmouth, and it is a neighbour of Butser Ancient Farm, where I did my work experience as a fifteen-year-old. It is, in short, a great place to spend a weekend attempting to connect with 'the spirits'.
Ah! The spirits. Well, my questioning mind spent a lot of the weekend bugging our shaman with my analysis and doubts about the reality of the said spirits. I think a modern view would be something like these spirits represent aspects of our souls of ourselves. Whether we took that step into actually believing in the spirits was up to us. Naturally, it was good for me to get my thoughts out in person, as all I know so far about shamanic practice has come through YouTube and online groups.
There are things you learn and experience sitting around a fire in deep conversation with a group, which you can't find online.
I can't even quite remember how I got into shamanic journeying. I know that over a year and a half ago, I was having a miserable time on a PGCE course and saw an entire moon ceremony on Facebook and decided to join. Perhaps the combination of PGCE pain, toxic relationship, and Covid was enough to draw me towards new spiritual avenues. I did start going to my local Buddhist sangha again and meditating to 'stay sane.'
At any rate, there is only so much you can learn online, and doing the retreat in person, mostly outside in the woodland and downland, a familiar backdrop of my childhood years was the perfect way to start to piece together what exactly Shamanism is...?
At least to have an in-person experience of a shamanic journey led by a trained Shaman in the Irish Celtic tradition. I think I understood by about mid-way through the weekend that I was overthinking it, and that I had to approach journeying like I would approach ecstatic dance. We were invited to see the world anew, like children or wild animals. I realised I am starting to struggle to see like a child these days.
One of the meditations involved invoking our power animal and then trying to take that animal and state of mind with us into the forest to collect our tokens. I don't think I really achieved that sense of being able to 'see like the deer,' but we all have to start somewhere. I still find myself wanting to google 'how does a deer see?,' but I think you are just supposed to just go with the flow and find out by direct practice. Still, I am pretty sure I am limited to only human eyes...right? I am pretty sure deer are colour blind. Perhaps I didn't quite get it, but I was trying in my way, to let my imagination be my guide.
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